NOT A TOY
I never get much chance these days – not a whinge! – to shoot things that do fascinate me. I am talking about the not every day stuff like snakes, bugs and animals. I am reminded of this by a Tarantula that I shot (sic) yesterday at a school I am working with. I can show you this because the EC has yet to establish model release rights for spiders.

The joy I did not feel! But RESPECT - Oh yeah!
This big hairy ginger girl was a superb shooting challenge in just simple terms – get all the legs in, get the eyes in focus – they are the shiny glittering black lump like a cupola in the centre of a very frightening tank.
But I have been very fortunate to take pictures of animals in strange surrounding. I think one of the most fascinating was the snake pit in Harare – it could be occupied by far more venemous creatures today! But at the time – when there was laughter as well as tears, there were also fewer fun detectors as well.

Boomslangs are skinny and very dangerous
So when I turned up and asked if I could actually go down into the snake pit (on my own), there was general laughter and a ladder was provided. In the pit were various snakes in an assorted midday doze.

Puff Adders, like all vipers, are dangerous because they are idle
The occupants, like the Puff Adders and Night Vipers are really only a threat if you accidentally tread on them – an occurrence made more likely by their chronic idleness. Even though they see and feel you coming they don’t get out of the way.
The Cobra, however, was a little bit more alert. I suspect, but may not be right, that the proximity – day on day – of so many other snakes left very little room for the Cobra’s territorial instinct. Otherwise life could have been abit more of an adventure.

Tempted to perform by the swaying of my boot!
Not a scary experience to be honest as I was well clothed. But I had to be careful not to attract attention when I was more vulnerable on the ladder getting out. And then it was time for BIG RESPECT.
The Gaboon Viper is one of the most horrifically scary snakes in the world. Probably up in the Top 5 at least. It is also one of the most beautiful. It has a glorious pattern of gold and purple like the royalty of snakes. The Gaboon Viper is so dangerous because, for starters, it is a Viper which means that it is lazy, sunbathes all day, is beautifully camouflaged and very easy for a naked African foot to tread on – presenting a ripe and luscious ankle to sink the fangs into.

slowmoving-quickdeath
The Fangs are, in many cases, amongst the longest in the snake world at about 3-4 cms. These together with the broad flat head containing huge poison sacs mean that when this beauty bites you, it injects a colossal amount of cytotoxin into the tissue. In theory, this will cause massive necrosis and result in serious amputations at best. However, even Joe 90 is not going to get to you fast enough. You have about 20 mins max. Just about enough time to clean up the mess you made when it bit you.
But there are other cold-blooded animals in Zimbabwe other than Mugabe. Crocs are farmed for their attractive natures – no, their hides actually!

Louis Vuitton, Chanel and Versace bask in the sun
They are bred like we breed chicken or cattle, from babies who look cute and bite hard on the hand that feeds them – mostly tourists.

A Croc is Just for Christmas
They are are then carefully slaughtered and skinned whilst the very edible meat is used in some cases by the fancy restaurants that sell exotic game foods – slight trade description issue really.
I came across this Lion doing what all male lions do best – which is largely bugger all. He just

Chiarscuro Panthera Leo
ignored us – quite rightly and fortunately, as we were in an open top landrover. We had just comeback from an 8 hour ride through the bush on horseback. White rhino at 30 yards are scary even if they are being docile, when you are on the back of a horse for the first time in ten years.
Anyway, I took this and most of these images on film stock acquired in odd parts of the planet. This was a roll (like the last piece of loo or cigarette paper), that I found on the top shelf in a store in Harare. It had been out of date for 5 years and lying in the sun – but needs must when the devil drives. I got the images. The colour was awful but I got the images and as you know – nothing else matters!
So twenty years later when I scanned them in and played with what I had, the quality or lack of it made me reduce it to simple litho type tones and all of a sudden I could see what you cannot see if you can see colour – did you follow that? In other words this is what an animal sees – patterns of shade. Even in broad daylight, a branch can dapple an huge predator and the leaves on their moving branches mottle him in safety whilst he sleeps.
And whilst he sleeps the dung beetle rolls home his nursery and bar.

Start off as you mean to go on. Kids!
And just to show that fecundity will spring up as often as two are brought together – meet the Zedonk. This is a real Zedonk. It’s parents had open minds and animal drives. If you were ever curious – this is it.

Neither one thing nor another. Not good in Africa!
And just for final Southern African before moving to North and West. I have no idea what type of bird this is other than a purple one.

Purple Bird
Please do not feel the need to use part of your valuable time on this planet finding out for me as I just do not care.
The Ghost Crabs are a more attractive relative of the big blue land crabs that you get in Central America – you know – the stupid, stupid, stupid crabs that stand in the road about six inches high and think they are harder than a Chevrolet. They do not last as long either but smell very bad on your tires as the sun warms up.

delicate crap eaters
Ghost crabs emerge at night to flood the beaches in the Gambia, leading many to believe, as one friend told me after his return, that he had bought much stronger cigarettes than he had planned. Happily they remain shy and quickly sense movement and return to their burrows.
The only really strong animal picture I have taken is this picture of a Pelican in Belize. It lacks detail and loads of other things but I waited for ages, I spotted my moment and I grabbed a perfectly planned symmetrical moment from the bird.

I should be shooting wildlife!
The sand-fly bites, the sunburn, the thirst and the rest of that stuff were all worth it. Finally to sign off – here are a couple of Shags. The first is from the Cayes in Belize as the sun set on my visit.

Dinner Time
The second is at the southern most tip of South Africa as the birds settle in their own guano on the last Hard Rock cafe before the ice sets in. The Cape of Good Hope ends here.

Shag Rock
I guess that is it for now. Thanks for coming on this little treck of animal pictures – it took me back a few decades – shall I echo Yerbury and lust after Film again – probably not. Ciao. TWH.
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